So many mixed feelings lately. I'm sitting with the unknown all the time in my art practice, playing with materials and figuring things out as they transpire. Its been good practice and for what I am now facing. My dad is very unwell, having had a sudden psychotic breakdown and he has been sectioned, progress is slow. He is 70 so its very rare for this to happen to someone of his age. He is like a different person, he has totally lost his capacity and doesn't know he is unwell. He is fighting being incarcerated and its upsetting to see him so scared. The medical professionals say they have never seen this before. Its been traumatic and a lot of sitting with the unknown. Just ongoing heavy feelings of not knowingness. Its probably going to be like this for a while, until he is less distressed and they are able to run more tests. So I find myself running back and forth between my hometown to be with family and my self discovered home of Bristol. My art practice keeps me grounded and every moment I spend with my art feels even more valuable right now.
I made this piece of work and finished it just before my dad become unwell. It seems all the more relevant than before. It was intended as a portrait of my dad which I had as a secret narrative and now it just seems more powerful and I feel the need to share it more openly.
I named it ' fragile and contained', as my dad as a working class man, has always bottled up his feelings and I have always been able to see the turmoil inside him. It created a fragility. As I am raised by him, I have some of this and try and counter it by being open (sometimes too open) and honest (sometimes too honest). Exposure can be the greatest healer. The hammer displayed was my dads, he gave it to me years ago. It sits on top of this boxed-in plinth, to show the tools that are passed onto us generationally.
I have some great exhibiting opportunities coming up, all in September. It will be a busy month. I'm showing this work in East Side Projects Birmingham and I have also been invited to be part of sculpture exhibition at B-side festival on the Isle of Portland. I will also be part of an online show with Air Gallery.
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